The Daily Pube

NEW! From McTickle

2008-06-06T16:22:00.001-04:00

All!

Please check out my new blog Samuel D. Jacobs. It will not be like The Daily Pube. Sorry to disappoint. I'm using it to showcase my original fiction and articles as well as inspriational photos taken by me and by others. Don't expect any photoshops or uber babes.

Let me know what you think!

~McTickle

I'm Bored

2008-05-27T09:42:00.002-04:00

Sorry fans. This site is boring to me now. I've actually felt this way for a while. It's not you, it's me. Scarlett loves you. Patrick loves you. McTickle loves you. But McTickle just doesn't love writing The Daily Pube anymore. Fear not though, I do not plan on deleting the site. And if J-Mart Escobar wishes to continue to post that's up to him. I may even post a little something once in a while. However, for now I regret to inform everyone that The Daily Pube is going on hiatus. An extended sabbatical, if you will.

I am continuing to write though. I am working on something that I feel pretty proud of so far that is not a blog. I will post updates in regards to a possible new website, and possibly a new blog with a more specific subject.

It's been real.

~McTickle

Sorry...is all that I can say

2008-05-16T08:58:00.004-04:00

Dear Marissa-
First off, I am not (repeat I AM NOT) just writing you this letter of apology because you got named Maxim’s hottest chick in the world. That has little to do with anything (well, no its important...I want you to feel sexy...I do), but really I’m just writing you to say I’m sorry. I should have never strayed off the trusted path (notice how I didn’t say the beaten path....see I’m improving). ANYWAY. Mila was a mistake. I admit it, I’m ready to move on and I hope that you’re ready to take me back. Please tell me you understand. Please.

How do I plan to make it up to you? Well, I thought long and (HARD) about my mistake, and most of all I’m just really disappointed in myself. You deserve so much better. Can I sing you a song? Please, can I, please? I think that’s a good starting point, don’t you? What’s more romantic than that?

I know that I look like a total douche bag to the rest of the Pubers, but I don’t care. This is about you and I, not about them. So what if I’ll be ridiculed and called J-Mart Vagina for the rest of my life? I DON’T CARE. I love you. McTickle, Big Dan, Ken of Snakes, Scotty Doesn’t Know? All of them don’t know. They don’t know what we ha(d)ve.

What have I done for you lately and where was I to congratulate you on making the cover of SI swimsuit? Well excuse me. First of all, I fought McTickle tooth-n-nail to put you atop the Pube’s hottest babes list. I think I somewhat succeeded, you were in the top 5. And since I couldn’t be there in NY for the party, I sent McTickle in my place whom you apparently didn’t have the time of day for. So you see, this is a bit of a two way street. I’m trying, I hope you recognize that.

Back to the issue at hand. I’ve picked a song (that I’ll never heard the end of from the other Pubers) just for you. Until I see you next, I want you to familiarize yourself with it so that when I sit on your bed and sing it to you, you can light a lighter (or candle) and sort of sway side to side and whisper the words....

Have a listen. And please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take me back.

I’m sorry.
J-Mart Escobar

Sex & the Shitty

2008-05-12T09:57:00.004-04:00

I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall Friday night. It was hilarious, to say the least. Judd Apatow and I are now friends on Facebook. It's nifty.

My issue though, was having to sit through the 3 minute preview for the Sex & The City movie. I hated this show when it was on HBO. You couldn't pay me enough to watch the movie on TBS while drinking scotch & soda and getting a soft, yet firm hummer from this week's uber babe Michelle Branch.

Sex & The City, at least in my mind is what has turned New York from a cool, hip, and edgy city into what it is today - overrun with douche bags, and young 20 somethings who think their shit don't stink just because they wear expensive designer shoes and live on the upper east side. Some of us REALLY liked getting drunk at The Village Idiot with its smell of stale vomit. We liked that! The meat packing district was once for packing meat, not trendy restaurants and overpriced real estate.

Or perhaps I really just despise Sarah Jessica Parker. She looks like a horse. 2000 World Series - Mets vs Yankees - there she is in the front row in her pink Yankees hat. BLECH x 2!!! After the 9/11 attack they did a telethon, or something that was shown on HBO. It was moving and heartfelt until her busted ass head appeared on the screen. Something about it just seemed so manufactured - full of shit, if you will. Like anytime she appears somewhere it dumbs it down - similar to Kanye West saying 'George Bush doesn't care about black people!' during the Hurricane Katrina telethon.

In conclusion I won't be seeing that movie, and I strongly urge the rest of the world to boycott it too. For now, let's have another look at Michelle Branch.

~McTickle

A short lived romance

2008-05-09T12:42:00.002-04:00

Folks, call it 'cry wolf' or whatever, but my fictional affair with Mila is over. Yup, just as quick as it began, its D-O-N-E DONE.

What went wrong you say?

Ummmm, she's real-life dating a double douche...that is Macaulay Culkin...aka the dude that took it up the butt from Michael Jackson.

Given that McTickle always likes to do his "6 degrees of seperation"....i do not, let me repeat, I DO NOT want to be associated with Michael Jackson.

In related news, I wonder if Macaulay gets all cute and cuddly with Mila and calls her "Blanket". Disturbing.

Over and out. Happy weekend Pubers!

Sincerely~
Jmart "I almost just had a crush on a chick who's dating a kid who was molested by Michael Jackson" Escobar

The Daily Pube Digs: Falling Down

2008-05-07T13:58:00.002-04:00

Here it is, Scarlett Johansson's first music video from her upcoming release Anywhere I Lay My Head. The song is called Falling Down. I would watch this over and over if that's what she wanted.

Oh, and I've decided to give Scarlett her own post label. Once I update all the past posts with her you'll be able to easily click and search for her. Neat, eh?

~McTickle

Ryan Reynolds is NOT A Douche Bag

2008-05-07T13:38:00.005-04:00

It is true. Celebrity Uber Babe of the Century, Scarlett Johansson and the star of Van Wilder, Just Friends, & Waiting Ryan Reynolds have announced their engagement. She's officially off the market. That's it. Gone. Done. Finished. Finito!

Of course, we here at The Daily Pube are upset; even crying a bit. But do we hate Van Wilder for stealing our woman? No. Not one bit.

If she had to get married to someone either than any of us, we feel she chose wisely. It makes sense. He's 32, she's 23. He used to date Alanis Morisette. I'm guessing her developed a crush on her while watching the You Ought ta Know video back in 1994. I had a bit of a crush, I'll admit. So, they dated a while. It ended. He's an actor. He meets Scarlett. She's an actress. She's young, beautiful, sexy, talented, has a perfect booty, makes smoking sexy again, shows her butt in Lost in Translation. Must I continue?

His appeal to her? I'm comfortable enough in my sexuality to say he's good looking and looks carved out of wood. Plus, he's funny. And neither of them seem to be the Hollywood types who would be assholes in person.

It's a good match. The Daily Pube endorses it. However, should it not work out (for whatever reason) Scarlett has my number - she knows what to do with it.

~McTickle

Milfs Opposed to Porn

2008-05-06T10:52:00.001-04:00

This story is even more hysterical due to the fact that the woman's last name is Milfs.

Milfs Opposed to Porn

The Daily Pube Digs: Christina!

2008-05-05T10:28:00.003-04:00

Aguillera, that is. She's April's Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Month. Stand up, Christina. Take a bow. MAZEL TOV!

In other news, today is May 5th. Cinco De Mayo. And it's a happy birthday to Scotty Doesn't Know! And do you all know what? He'll never know. Not only does he not contribute anymore, I don't even think he reads this rag anymore. Still, he is my colleague, so he gets birthday wishes....Go Eat Arby's, Mother Fucker!!!!

On a sadder note...I have to get back to work.

~McTickle

BREAKING NEWS

2008-05-05T10:08:00.003-04:00

This just in from the CNN newsroom floor, J-Mart Escobar's all-time crush Marissa Miller's reign has ended abruptly as the undisputed 'Hottest POA on the planet'.

Yes, its true folks. I can hardly believe that I'm typing these words and it breaks my heart. How will I tell Marissa? Do I call her? Text message? I don't know, what's appropriate for breaking up these days?

Anyway...out with the old, in with the new!!!!!!!!

Last night I went to see the movie Forgetting Sara Marshall. There she was...the new Ms. Hottest POA on the planet.

From what I understand, she's probably hardly new news to y'all. But let's not forget where I live...the midwest...news travels slow out here.

Ladies and Gents...I give you...Mila Kunis aka Hottest POA On The Planet

Love~
J-Mart Escobar

It's That Time of the Month...Again

2008-04-28T12:26:00.002-04:00

Time to vote, that is. And the gadget is working! Vote for Miranda or Christina or Natasha or this week's DUFFY.

I am happy to say I am starting yet another writing class this evening. This may even inspire me to write more on The Daily Pube. But probably not. Sorry it's been so sparse, but I've just been really busy, and the rest of the fellas are MIA. It couldn't last forever, right?

Um, yeah not much else to say right now.

~McTickle

The Daily Pube Digs: The Best Album of 2008 (That You Probably Won't Ever Hear)

2008-04-17T10:58:00.003-04:00

We here at The Daily Pube love Scarlett Johansson. You all know that. She was 2007's Celebrity Uber Babe of The Year. Ken of Snakes kissed her, and I sat in bed with her which she had her post coital cigarette.

Some of us also like Tom Waits. He's dark, and gritty, and awesome!

How do you improve on either of them, you ask? Well, why not have Scarlett record an entire album of Tom Waits covers? BINGO!

Later this month, if you care to take the plunge on faith alone you get to hear Scarlett barely strain her vocal chords on 10 tracks by the king of grit, and one original written by miss Johansson and producer David Andrew Sitek appropriately titled Song For Jo.

The album is titled Anywhere I Lay My Head. I listened to a portion of one track Falling Down on Amazon.com. It's not bad. It's not good either, if all you're doing is listening.

The trick is to imagine Scarlett is singing each song directly to you. She's wearing a red negligee, smoking a cigarette, drinking scotch, and straddling you while you sit in your favorite leather chair and watch her lips and breasts move in time to the music. Do you think you could do that? Yes? Good, you will enjoy this album...if you get it. Will you trust me enough to take the plunge? Pre-order it at Amazon.com.

In the mean time, go over that scenario again a few more times in your head. But if you're at work try to resist the urge to take a trip to the bathroom to...you know...

~McTickle

WAR KITTENS!

2008-04-16T16:18:00.000-04:00

Cracks me up every time!!!

~McTickle

Unhappy Monday

2008-04-14T12:48:00.003-04:00

Pollen is high - and I'm itchy and sneezy.

The Mets lost 2-3 games to the Brewers over the weekend.

However...Blogger has updated their system, and we got back the side bar functions. If you look below our new uber babe of the week you will see the uber babe of the month poll. So far we have two. If you're confident that your favorite will be one of these two, then by all means vote now.

You're probably also questioning my choice for this week. Natasha Bedingfield is irritating, true - but she is hot. And that's what this is about. Hotness. When I decide to do a super cool intellectual of the month contest you can rest assured she won't be included.

~McTickle

Spoon Me Gently

2008-04-10T10:01:00.005-04:00

As if you couldn't figure it out from the title, this post is a concert review. Yup, last night Ken of Snakes, McTickle, and our gal pal (from work) TJ saw SPOON at Terminal 5 in New York City.

I have a two word review for this show: FUCK YEAH!

They played well from start to finish; hitting all the favorites and some lesser known gems. They brought in a horn section for a few songs, and even played a Paul Simon cover (check their website for the name of the song). My one disappointment was that they saved I Turn My Camera On for their last song prompting all the poseur fans to whoop and shout, and sing along - badly. It reminded me a bit of the first time I saw The Shins and the moment they started playing New Slang some twat in front of me started singing along - loudly - and VERY off key. I wanted to kick her in the head, but unfortunately I can't kick that high being a white man, and all.

An added bonus was the Camel Cigarettes sponsorship of the show. We got there fairly early so the crowd was light. There was Camel branding everywhere. There were also little booths set up where they'd scan your license and give you a bunch of free shit including a lighter, a flash drive, a drink ticket, and tickets for a free Rock Photo and a free silk screen t-shirt. The three of us first headed up to the photo station where we took this gem.

Then we headed downstairs to the silk screening station and picked up some awesomely awesome t-shirts. I tried mine on when I got home and it was really long. What is it about free t-shirts? They never fit right!

We made our way back to the top level to watch the show. The view was fantastic in more ways than one...

I'll be headed back to Terminal 5 in a few weeks to see The Black Keys with Kristina.

~McTickle

RIP - Charlton Heston

2008-04-07T10:43:00.002-04:00

Whatever your political views may be regarding gun control, etc you have to admit he was awesome as Moses in The Ten Commandments!!

Plus, he also thought Michael Moore was a douche bag. He still is.

Rest in peace gun toting man, rest in peace!

~McTickle

Music To My Ears

2008-04-07T10:02:00.003-04:00

We kick off MUSIC MONTH with March's Celebrity Uber Babe of the Month, Jamie Presley. She squoze by Katherine Heigl with one vote winning 5-4 (or something like that). We pretty much had shit for votes. Thanks to eight of The Daily Pube readers who were awesome enough to vote. Maybe this month we can bump that number up a bit...

Our new babe of the week is an old favorite of mine, Miranda Lambert.
The second ever Daily Pube post was a review of one of her performances in NYC. I think we've come a long way since then...or not. Aside from having a new musical babe each week, we will also be reviewing new records, old favorites, and even a couple of concerts including one this week which Ken of Snakes and I will be attending - SPOON. I'm looking forward to seeing these fools rock out with their...never mind.

In other news, I recently found out that yet another old high school acquaintance of mine is a published author. I'm always excited to hear about these sorts of things as I aspire to be published, and am working hard at building up a collection of published author friends on my Facebook page - so far I have two. The dude from high school is Daniel B. Smith. He wrote a book called Muses, Madmen, and Prophets: Hearing Voices and the Borders of Sanity. It is a non-fiction account of people (including his own father & grandfather) who hear voices, but aren't necessarily insane, or something to that degree. I didn't want to copy the Amazon.com description word for word, nor have I read it myself, but I do intend to. Dan's book has appeared on many best seller lists, and he himself made an appearance on The Colbert Report. I was also told that we live within spitting distance of one another. Look out Dan, here comes a stalker!

For those of you who are curious about what my sock drawer has been up to, I recently bought a pair of gray socks with a broken, lighter gray pinstripe. I placed them in front of a gray pair with tiny green pin dots. You can probably guess what happened after I closed the drawer. When I opened it this morning to wear the pinstriped ones, well let's just say I may never be able to wear the other ones ever again. Moral of the story? Don't mix stripes and dots - they WILL clash! (Hardy har har!!)

~McTickle

How Many Dead Ends Can A Man Walk Down...?

2008-04-04T10:22:00.002-04:00

Does anybody know who performs the cover of the Beatles' Any Time At All in this Chase commercial? I really like it - even though a lot of Beatles purists on the web seem to hate it - and I'd like to download it, but nobody seems to know who it is.

Also, just a reminder after today there's no more voting for March Celebrity Uber Babe of the Month. Right now Katherine Heigl and Jamie Presley are in a dead heat. VOTE!!!!!

~McTickle

VOTE FOR MCTICKLE!!!

2008-04-03T12:56:00.000-04:00

Laugh if you want to. It's pretty funny. I registered myself in Esquire's Best Dressed Man in America Contest. Go ahead, laugh! It's hysterical. But you're not shocked, right?

Click the link below, and vote me 5 stars. If you REALLY feel you should give me less, then fine. I appreciate your honesty. I probably didn't even choose the best photos of myself. I know I'm ten times sexier in person. :)

So, there it is. http://www.esquirebdrm.com/SamJ/450 Vote Sam J (aka McTickle) the Best Dressed Man in America.

Thank you!

~McTickle

Opening Day

2008-03-31T13:14:00.004-04:00

So, who else is stoked that the Nats beat the Braves, and that the Yankees game is currently on rain delay? That's a real POSITIVE way to start your season. Personally I'm home with a bad cold or flu. Not fun. But the good thing about this is I'll get to watch the Mets opener at Florida on my HDTV! Yeah, that's pretty cool.

On another note you all may notice that tomorrow is a new month. April is music month at The Daily Pube. All babes starting next Monday will be babes of music. I think you'll all like our selections. And today we can start voting for March Uber Babe of the Month.

Eligible babes are:

Jamie Presley

Kate Bosworth

Katherine Heigl

Britney Spears

Jennifer Garner

Blogger is STILL fucked up, so you'll have to submit your votes again via comments. And please vote. That makes this whole thing that much more fun.

~McTickle

The Daily Pube Digs: Jack Johnson - Sleep Through The Static

2008-03-30T09:37:00.004-04:00

As many of our regular readers should know, Mr. of Snakes and I are fans of the folky and sometimes hokey music of Jack Johnson. We both waited in patient anticipation for his newest album Sleep Through The Static to be released earlier this year.

To no surprise of mine it sounds like like everything else he's ever released. And for fans of Jack Johnson, this is not a bad thing. I don't know about Joe Shmo from Idaho, but personally I don't want him to innovate. He can add a steel drum or backing vocals by Nora Jones if he really wants to. However, for the most part he should, and has stuck to the formula that's made him adored by fans worldwide. His music is simple, laid back, melodic - beautiful. At no point on Sleep Through the Static did Jack stray from the path. It's as perfect as you can get with a Jack Johnson record. The Daily Pube gives it 4 out of 5 stars.

~McTickle

We Didn't Do It

2008-03-30T09:25:00.003-04:00

The New York Daily News has reported that The Daily Pube sports connection Sean Avery is in the little black book of Manhattan Madam Kristin Davis claiming he is a client and has solicited prostitutes from her service. Avery insists it is a load of crap, and that someone is trying to plan an April Fool's joke on him.

You've all read the story about how I found his phone, and how he called me and came to my office to get his phone, and how then Kristina and I went to a game courtesy of Sean. I texted him after the game to thank him for the tickets and he never wrote back. Sure, I was hoping he'd say something to the degree of "No prob, dude. any time you want to come to a game, get some beers, or touch Elisha's butt you just let me know." But this is the real world. McTickle is a nobody (for now) and he's a big hockey star (for now). He was done with me. But I assure you, the general public that I did not, I repeat did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky*...oh wait, wrong speech. What I meant to say was if someone did play a practical joke on Sean Avery and submit his name and private cell phone number to Kristin Davis as part of a joke - that person was not me. Rest assured Sean, I didn't do it.

*What I did do, however was nail Monica Lewinsky.

~McTickle

Recommended by George Clooney

2008-03-26T18:01:00.000-04:00

This is hilarious!!!!

Big Boobs!

2008-03-26T13:37:00.001-04:00

...and sexy bikini clad bottoms = VOTES!

Was there ever a question? Now there certainly ain't!

~McTickle

Quantum of Solace

2008-03-24T12:36:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I'm a little late on my 007 reporting, but that's the name of the next movie due out November 7th. Once blogger fixes the issues I'm going to upload a new countdown clock. Yeah, I know there's a lot to do and to cover between now and November 7th, but it's Bond.

Here's a list of other things we WILL cover between now and then:

Baseball!
Concert reviews for Spoon and the Black Keys (and others if J-Mart, Ken of Snakes, or Big Dan decide to review any)
Patrick Swayze's health updates
J-Mart Escobar's impending vasectomy
Batman - The Dark Knight
The new Indiana Jones film
A new diet consisting of Guinness & Baked Beans
(Lots of) Celebrity Uber Babes including this week's firecracker, Britney Spears

So there. You have lots to look forward to. Keep your shirts on (unless you're between 18-35 and smokin hot!) and prepare for the ultimate Daily Pube SPRING BREAK!!!

~McTickle

Good Friday Pubers!

2008-03-21T09:35:00.004-04:00

No I'm not Catholic, not even close as a matter of fact. But who gives a shit? Its almost Easter which some people tell me that means Geebus was hung like a horse (or was it on a cross? i forget). Then magically the next day and the day after bunnies appeared everywhere dropping chocolate eggs and candy to kids. SAY WHAT? This doesn't make a lick of sense!!!!!!!!!!

What does make sense is Marissa Miller. A whole lot of sense actually.

I leave you with this goddess like picture of MM, wishing you a happy Good Friday. Don't forget to thank Geebus and the chocolate bunnies.

Cheers
J-Mart Escobar

Going Green

2008-03-17T13:32:00.005-04:00

No, I'm not talking about being environmentally aware and recycling and driving a hybrid - although these things are not a bad start. What I'm referring to is the day that is today, St. Patrick's Day.

Look down at your shirt. Is it green? Thought so! Are you Irish? Well, apparently today you are. My mom is half Irish, so I wear the green sweater, pin, and argyle socks with true Irish pride. If you're the furthest thing from Irish, yet you're wearing green today to symbolize your support of this holiday, that's ok too! We all like corned beef & cabbage, green beer, and Lord of the Dance, right?

If it weren't for all the money we spend on alcohol today in the Irish pubs I think the true, 100% Irish might be offended at our debauchery. Maybe not though. Maybe they enjoy watching us Jews and Italians and Greeks, etc get sloppy drunk in their pubs, and vomit all over ourselves after our third helping of black pudding.

I'm not trying to bring anyone down or start any shit. I just find it amusing that on this one day of the year everyone in America (well, at least a good number of us) pretend to be Irish just for the sake of drinking a few extra pints. Well, next year on Ash Wednesday let's all put black ash on our heads even if we're not Catholic. I think it would be fun.**

Speaking of fun, who thinks Katherine Heigl's hot? Me too! Who wants to see her bald beaver again (since the one we saw in Knocked Up wasn't real)? Google search her. You'll find it.

For now, enjoy her fully clothed!

~McTickle

**I do not plan to do this, and anyone who thinks this is a good idea, you would actually offend real Catholics, so please don't. Thank you!

Happiness is Just Around the Corner

2008-03-13T11:16:00.002-04:00

In light of all the negativity circulating through the news these days - Elliot Spitzer and his women, Patrick Swayze's cancer, Hillary Clinton still in the race - I like to take moments to reflect on all that is good in this world.

So I thought of this video and smiled real big. Thank you Fat Boy Slim and Christopher Walken!

~McTickle

I want to be a Cowboy

2008-03-11T10:46:00.003-04:00

The TDP question of the day:

What are we all doing sitting at our desks @ our random office jobs, when there are cowgirls out there in the world that need a little TLC?

Answer me that people!!!

Giddy-Up~
J Cowboy-mart Escobar

Happy Weekend My Punk Pubers

2008-03-07T11:42:00.003-05:00

What's crack-a-lackin' Pubers?
Nothing earth shattering here peeps, just a bit of shameless self-promotion for my new Punk Band that's soon to be kicking off the first official UK Tour.

The Slags. Check out our tour dates (soon to be released).

Who loves you? Jmart-Escobar loves you.

Look for our first single soon to hit iTunes: Marissa Miller, I tattoo'd your name on my ass.

Peace!
Jmart

Heartbreaking News

2008-03-05T17:02:00.002-05:00

Perez Hilton (I can't believe I'm referencing this guy twice in one day) confirmed that the news about our beloved Patrick Swayze is true.

Swayze's publicist confirmed that he does, in fact have pancreatic cancer and it is spreading quickly. They say he has only a matter of weeks to live.

I can say first hand that I know someone who went through this with her partner, and it does spread quickly, and the survival rate is slim to none.

I still have hopes that maybe, just maybe the reports are still wrong and tomorrow we'll all find out that Patrick is healthy and is gearing up for a comeback. But according to Kristina, Perez always hears everything first and is usually right. This sucks.

~McTickle

Nobody Puts Swayze In a Corner

2008-03-05T09:44:00.004-05:00

Somebody PLEASE say this rumor isn't true. I don't read Perez Hilton - somebody sent this to me, but it's saying that Patrick Swayze has Pancreatic Cancer and only had a few weeks left to live.

Let's all hope and pray this isn't true.

~McTickle

danica patrick, DANICA PATRIC!!!...where's the love for Marissa?

2008-03-03T20:46:00.001-05:00

Good lord people....HOW many times do I have to tell you that its about one girl, and ONE GIRL ONLY, My Marissa....aka Cover Girl...aka hottest POA on earth (aside from my wife of course). Anyway, here's a little somethin' for all to enjoy.....

I would drink the water she's standing in if that's what she wanted.

Love and Peace-
Jmart

Beware The Ides of March

2008-03-03T09:50:00.003-05:00

I think I spelled ides correctly...

By an underwhelming 5-2 vote, Miss Danica Patrick is our Celebrity Uber Babe of the Month. Check out one of her pics from Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue...

It was not a tough race for the pint sized beauty (pun intended). Penelope and Heather didn't even get one vote a piece. Maybe it was because of the voting feature on blogger being broken...which it still is, by the way! FIX THAT SHIT!!!!

Baseball fever is now in full swing, well for me, at least. This Friday my friend Pete and I head to Port St Lucie to watch some Spring Training games, and have dinners with our grandparents. When in Florida...

I'm hoping for an interview with El Duque or at least some minor league prospects. Or maybe some local uber babes. We'll see.

In the mean time...

~McTickle

Babe of the Month...almost

2008-02-28T09:26:00.002-05:00

The polls close Friday evening. Right now, including one vote sent in through TDP's e-mail we have Danica Patrick leading Emanuelle Chriqui 4-2. Six votes! You people are awesome!

Sense my sarcasm, do you?

Whatever, fuck it. Leave it this way and my favorite, Danica will win.

In other news I'm wearing thick wool socks today because it's cold as fuck in New York City. I had a tough time choosing which wool socks I would wear. See, I have two really nice warm pairs of wool socks that both have completely different designs. One pair is pretty simple - grey with some brown stripes. The other pair has a whole crazy ski lodge pattern happening. My intention was to wear heavy boots (again because of the cold, and in case it snowed) so I opted to wear the grey ones instead. I mean, why wear a crazy pattern when nobody will see them, right? Needless to say my crazy patterned socks were a little jealous when I chose the grey ones. Poor socks. They'll just have to hang out another day in the sock drawer with the argyles and gym socks, and everyone else.

~McTickle

WTF Pubes??

2008-02-26T17:22:00.002-05:00

I see a lot of site visits between yesterday & today, but only four votes including mine and Ken of Snakes.

Look, if you people aren't interested in making this an interactive blog, then I'll just forget about it. I'll close it down, and start a new blog about my sock drawer. Is that what you want? I'll give you a taste...

Today I sorted my sock drawer again. I moved a pair of brown argyle socks ahead of a pair of yellow argyle socks. The sky blue pair seemed a little jealous of the red pair, so I moved them behind the navy blue pinstriped pair. Photos to follow...

Yeah, didn't think so. Vote, pubes!

~McTickle

OSCAR! (Meyer Weiner)

2008-02-25T09:35:00.008-05:00

I've decided to NOT review the Oscars again this year. I mean, if you watched them you care and you know what happened, if you didn't then you don't care and don't need me to spell it out for you. I will say, however that one of the reasons I did watch was to pick a new uber babe of the week. In my opinion, Penelope Cruz blew the rest of the pack out of the water.

It's fitting that this week, being the last week of February is the week we count down our uber babes and tally the votes. And when I say VOTE I mean, don't read this page and expect someone else to vote for your favorite babe. I mean YOU! Yes, you my random friend who happens to be a straight female and is not really into the whole uber babe thing, but reads The Daily Pube for amusement. I WANT YOUR VOTE TOO! Only problem is BLOGGER is fucked up again and I can't add the voting widget, so you'll all have to cast your votes as comments. Oh, boo friggin hoo!

The nominees are...

Danica Patrick

Emmanuelle Chriqui

Heather Graham

Penelope Cruz

Choose wisely. Choose without prejudice. And remember, the winner will be in the running for uber babe of the year up against the likes of Keira Knightley and whoever else wins throughout 2008.

More later.

~McTickle

THE DAILY PUBE DIGS - SPOON

2008-02-22T10:13:00.003-05:00

In December I listed Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga by Spoon to be one of my favorite albums of the year. But did I mention they happen to be one of my now all time favorite bands? That's saying a lot considering I usually don't even consider anything made past 1998 to be decent. Scratch that. There are very few things made past 1998 that I consider to be decent, and even fewer that I consider to be awesome. Even The White Stripes have missed the mark a few times. Spoon, however has been consistently good. Just check this one out.

Other bands on my all time favorite list are:

Morphine
The Ramones
Soundgarden
The Shins (post 1998)
The Foo Fighters
Audioslave
Snow Patrol
Stone Temple Pilots
The Old 97's
Wilco

This doesn't even include solo artists, but that's for another time. I'm buying Spoon tickets today. They play here in NYC one day after Opening Day at Shea. It looks like I have a lot to look forward to in April.

Have a great weekend!

~McTickle

A Mighty When...

2008-02-21T09:22:00.009-05:00

McTickle here...and I know what you're thinking. What's the point of The Daily Pube anymore anyway?

There's very little clever banter, no Patrick Swayze sightings, and the only reason you visit is to see who made Uber Babe of the Week, who this week you had to wait until Thursday to see.

Well, I have a few stories for you.

First, about two weeks ago I was riding home and found an iPhone. Interestingly enough the owner of the iPhone called and seemed delighted, although flustered. He asked if I could bring it to him at 10th & 19th, but by this time I was already in Brooklyn, and had zero desire to return to Manhattan. I told him where I would be the following day, gave him my name & phone number, and told him to call me so we could arrange for him to get his phone. The following days passed and I hadn't heard from him. I couldn't get into the phone because it was locked so I had no way of finding out who he was or seeing any of his contacts, and the phone did not ring once. Finally, nearly a week later and with a dead phone on my hands I decided to plug it into my computer. When my computer recognized the hardware it popped up on the screen saying Sean Avery's iPhone. The name sounded familiar, but not really. Then I looked at the phone and saw there were voicemails and missed calls waiting from a number of people, so I Googled their names together. After some light investigative work I come to find out that the phone belongs to Sean Avery of the New York Rangers hockey team. It turns out he also dated former The Daily Pube uber babe obsession of the week, Elisha Cuthbert.

So I called the Rangers, got through to their PR office, and told them I had his phone. They took my name and number (again) and said I'd hear from them. A few hours later the phone rang (his phone) and I noticed it was his agent calling (Google told me this). So I answered. I told him I had found the phone, bla, bla, bla. The next day my office phone rings and it's Sean. We agreed that he would come to my office to pick up the phone. The next day he swung on by. He was very nice, but not as tall as I thought he would be for a guy who gets into fist fights nearly every game. But he offered me tickets, and Kristina and I went to the game that Sunday. They won! Now that I think about it when I shook his hand I was only one degree away from touching Elisha's boob or her butt or her...

Next, last Tuesday I got to represent The Daily Pube at the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Launch Party. It was everything I hoped it would be. I spotted former uber babe Marissa Miller, met current uber babe Danica Patrick, and was photographed with swimsuit model Julie Henderson. Of course my camera died just before the party so I cannot present you with photographic proof of my meeting Danica, but here's a shot of me with Julie. I also got drunk for free!

Two nights ago Kristina and I returned to Madison Square Garden to see The Foo Fighters. As usual they were awesome! We brought a couple of her colleagues including a dude whose sister is a publicist for The Foo Fighters. We waited around after the show to try to meet them, but no such luck. He left with his sis and hit up their after party where he says he told Dave Grohl, while in his own drunken state that he inspires him. Dave proceeded to grab this dude by the neck and head butt him...but in a nice way, of course. I tried to use my TDP credentials to get into the party, but apparently what worked for SI did not work for Foo. Go figure!

So for those of you who think we've just been sitting around doing nothing, there's our rebuttle. Hopefully we'll be able to report more soon as we slowly become recognized as a legitimate news source. Kisses!

~McTickle

PS: Spell check on Blogger is not working, so if you notice a mistake, Fuck You!
PPS: Baseball spring training has started, so do you know what that means? Smack talk will begin soon! This one's for you, Big Dan!

J-Mart says "I must break you Pubers"

2008-02-17T09:28:00.002-05:00

As you can gather from the video clip, things are S-L-O-W here in the lovely midwest and J-Mart is S-L-O-W-L-Y losing his freakin mind (who are we kiddin' was there ever anything to lose in the first place).

Anyway, I hope all you Pubers are happy where ever you are.

Stay tuned, COMING SOON: The Escobars go bowling showing of the spring collection J-N-E-Mart bowling apparel line : The Bomber Pilot series exclusive

Let's Face It...

2008-02-11T12:20:00.001-05:00

Raise your hand if you have a Facebook profile. McTickle looks around the room. Me too! In fact, what I once did through Friendster and then through MySpace I can now do even more easily through this wonderful online tool that was created to help college kids get laid.

What I'm talking about, of course is getting in touch with old friends. Recently I have made contact with a good number of my high school classmates, and we started a group for just our graduating class. We now have 38 of the 350 kids from our class in the group. That's just over 10%.

I've also connected with other friends from all walks of life including past jobs, college, youth groups, etc. One recent youth group connection led to find another connection from this group who at the time I absolutely adored - loved - worshiped the ground she walked on. And do you know what? She's married. Not that it matters. I'm in a happy relationship, and I hadn't seen this girl in years but something inside of me stirred when I saw this and it made me wonder, if only for a moment, what if? This wasn't the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it will not be the last. Some of my exes are happily married with kids and houses and gravy boats. Sure it's weird, but it's part of life. It's not like I expect every girl I ever dated to curl up into a ball live in a box after I'm done with them. Wouldn't that be neat though? Then, if you decide to give them another run you can just go down to archives and pull them out, clean them up, and voila! Like a brand new babe!

And speaking of brand new babes, will ya check out what the E dragged in? Emmanuelle Chriqui is smokin! Why E's character on Entourage would let her go makes no sense. I used to like that show. I still do, I guess. But it pisses me off!

~McTickle

We Forgot Our Own Birthday!

2008-02-05T09:53:00.000-05:00

That's right, The Daily Pube turned 1 on January 30th. On that fine winter day I wrote a little diddy complete with an early Photoshop of my friend Brandon in a bunny suit and The Daily Pube was born.

Not long after I began posting "guest articles" from my friends Ken, Dan, Scott, and J-Mart. You know know all these fellows almost as well as you know me.

Over the last year we introduced new features like Scotty's Monday Mailbag and discontinued some that just weren't working for us like Scotty's Monday Mailbag.

But all in all it's been a fun year, and through our new features and writers we hope our fans (all five of you) will continue to read and enjoy The Daily Pube and the uber babes and Patrick Swayze and The Daily Pube Digs (which I intend to bring back in full force along with Patrick Swayze sightings and new fiction and cupcakes and all that good stuff.)

I leave you with a smokin hot photo of 2007's Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Year, Scarlett Johansson.

I would stick anchovies in my ears and run around Times Square naked while greased up so the cops can't catch me if that's what she wanted.

~McTickle

GIANTS WON?

2008-02-04T11:04:00.000-05:00

Whoda thunk it? Eli Manning? Wow!

You know who else won stuff this weekend? KEIRA KNIGHTLEY!

This sultry Brit is our January Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Month edging the buxom Holly Weber by a mere vote. Now, if all The Daily Pube readers would have actually voted this may have been more interesting. You need to take action to make things happen! You can't just sit back and let other people do the work for you. This is why George Bush has been president for eight years! Wake up America!!!

Ok, I'm done with my little rant, and since this is not a political website I will not even hint at who I'm pulling for (and I say pulling because I am not eligible to vote in primaries) to win on Super Tuesday. I will say this much, I really enjoy the show 24. My favorite character was President David Palmer.

Starting out February 2008 we give you a bit of the racing world's favorite uber babe, Danica Patrick. Normally I would steer clear of anything even remotely ralated to car racing but her performance on GoDaddy.com's Superbowl commercial won me over.

I really wish I didn't have a stuffed nose. I take my writing class on Monday nights, and we're often asked to read what we write, and I hate speaking with a stuffed nose. I sound like a squeezee doll.

~McTickle

January's Gone

2008-02-01T10:37:00.000-05:00

...and today is the last day to vote for January's Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Month.

Let's get some more votes in. Do we really want Holly Weber to win? Who is she, anyway?

~McTickle

The "Z" Spot

2008-02-01T10:08:00.000-05:00

We here at The Daily Pube strive for excellence, jouralistic integrity, compelling stories, and buxom babes a plenty. However, sometimes we lose track of our top priorities. For instance, Ken of Snakes had promised to write about the NFL Playoffs. We're less than 60 hours away from the Superbowl now, and have any of you seen anything? I mean, I can't give the guy a hard time about it. he's been busy. I've been busy. Hell, when's the last time you heard from Scotty Doesn't Know? McTickle doesn't know either!

That's not to say though that we're not thinking of you, our fans! And to thank you for your patience and understanding, we bring you a story from one of our (my) very attractive friends. She asked that her "column" be called The "Z" Spot. It's kind of a play on words. Her name starts with a Z and she writes about sexuality...G-spot, get it? So until she comes up with an alternate pseudonym we'll just refer to her as Z. So without further ado...

~McTickle

The HR Party - A Work of Fiction by "Z"

In December of my senior year of college, I realized the meaning of what my roommates called a Dry Spell. Plainly speaking, I hadn’t had sex in almost a year. That’s less of a Spell, more like a Season. And that’s a hell of a Dry Season for a 22-year old. I went to a college with 30,000 undergrads, so metaphorically speaking, I was living in a lush rain forest complete with a raging waterfall and a thirst characterized by taking an obscene number of bongs hits (and chasing them with spoonfuls of peanut butter) only to realize my mouth was sewn shut.

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a dog in college. I was actually kind of cute, but painfully shy, with no game whatsoever. And somewhere between the boxed-wine consumption and the late-night pizza gorgings, I had put on a teeny tiny bit of weight. That, and I was too f***ed up most of the time to realize how or when to take off my pants. Insane, I know. What’s more insane is that more guys did not capitalize on my inebriation. But when a guy’s got thousands of choices, I being the one sprawled on the bathroom floor, I was usually toward the bottom of the list. That and my roommates had Rapist Radar and would never let the sketchy guys near me. So there it was, an ENTIRE year with no sex.

Naturally, toward the end of the semester, I decided to make it rain. I planned my first Hymen Regrowth Party, which was obviously not to toast and encourage a continuation of the Dry Season, but to bring it to a resounding end. I bought bottles of Andre Champagne ($3.99 a bottle), stole condoms from the student health center, bought stretchy black pants from the mall (a mere 45 minutes drive from campus) and mapped out a bar crawl.

I sent out verbal invitations to all the bartenders and bouncers where I worked (sports bar on Main Street) to let them know I would appreciate any (and all) contenders they could send my way. Well done, fellas! By 5pm, I was drinking 32 oz. beers on my balcony. At 7pm, I had a viable participant, by 11pm we were popping Andre corks and by 1am we were rolling around on the mustard colored Berber carpet.

Seven years later, I am once again wandering in the Death Valley of sexual escapades. Only, I’m throwing the Hymen Regrowth Party after only 3 months (thanks in part to my Plastic Fantastic Lover). Instead of cheap champagne, the lucky guy will have to actually buy me a “few” Absolut and sodas, and where there was a 6-pack of Trojans in my bedside drawer, there are now 31 multi-colored LifeStyless in my purse (I love Chelsea!). Date and location of aforementioned party will be posted and those fitting the desired profile will be given a password to enter the VIP section. Scores will be based on physical appearance, poise, talent, and private interview.

You would think it would just be easier to get married, or better yet, become a full-time slut, but those are unhealthy paths to eventual self-destruction and I think it’s just as well to have an excuse to get drunk and be reckless every 3 months. But if the frequency doesn’t pick up in the next 7 years, I’ll have to seriously consider coming out of my shell.
~Z

Its almost Xmas...uhhh I mean Super Bowl

2008-01-30T11:10:00.000-05:00

I never ever thought I'd say this....but these guys are the key to the Pats winning on Sunday...and boy are they a handsome unit.

GO PATRIOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Old Cowboys Never Die

2008-01-28T09:43:00.000-05:00

I don't find it at all coincidental that last Monday I referenced Brokeback Mountain and that the following day the star of the movie, Heath Ledger was found dead in a New York City apartment. It's tragic, really. He and his former flame Michelle Williams lived just around the corner from me in Brooklyn. I'd see them every now and then wheeling their daughter around in her stroller. It's sad when such a young person dies so tragically. He will be survived by his family & friends, and all his work including what should be this summer's biggest movie, at least in my mind, The Dark Knight. He plays the joker.

On a lighter note, I give you this week's Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Week, Keira Knightley. Why her, you ask? I was testing out my new vacuum cleaner last night with the special attachments that help to pick up pet hair (it really works), and the movie Domino was on in the background. I stopped to watch her give a lap dance to a fat guy holding a big gun (no metaphor there). She's probably the uber babe with the smallest breasts to date, but whatever she lacks in mammaries she makes up for in overall sexiness.

This week also brings us to our voting for Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Month. This month's nominees are:

Olivia Wilde

Hayden Panettiere

Holly Weber

Keeley Hazell

Anne Hathaway

Keira Knightley

Yes, it's a big month with a lot of choices. Be sure to cast your votes at the side. The winner will be announced next Monday.

Visit The Daily Pube on MySpace for more pictures of your favorite uber babes.

~McTickle

TDP IN NOLA

2008-01-22T10:37:00.000-05:00

I know what you're all thinking. THE DAILY PUBE SUCKS NOW! Yeah, we do suck! We never post anymore. January has been very busy. Lots of work. McTickle is taking a class to learn to write good.

At least I have something to report today. Ken of Snakes, Scotty Doesn't Know, and your trusty McTickle took a little trip to New Orleans last week and witnessed the parade that kicks off Mardi Gras. Unfortunately there were a lot more plaster cocks than there were natural boobs, but we still enjoyed ourselves.

We open up our week with a new Uber Babe, Anne Hathaway. Look past The Princess Diaries and The Devil Wears Prada, and just think of the natural beauty and the potential she has to be super hot and naked like Keeley and you'll see you might agree with our choice...well, my choice.

Tonight I'm going to the gallery opening for fellow blogger, The Sartorialist. I've left some comments on his blog that I think are funny, though others may not. I'll report back tomorrow.

Still busy, still have work to do. May update again this week, but maybe not. Enjoy Miss Hathaway!

~McTickle

Trumping Trump

2008-01-14T15:12:00.000-05:00

Nature, that is. A scaffold collapsed at Trump SoHo this afternoon, and your trusty McTickle was there to photograph the devastation.

One construction worked is confirmed dead as the top floor collapsed and he fell 30 storeys.

This is a real tragedy. I am not writing this with a smile. But I did feel I should share my photos.

~McTickle

Another Week Goes By...

2008-01-14T12:05:00.000-05:00

...and this is the first TDP post in a week.

Sorry. We've all just been really busy with out real jobs and lives. Not that we don't love writing for The Daily Pube, and trust me if I could make this my job I would. Just for now I need to pay my rent and the income for that comes from another source. It's not as bad as it sounds.

I couldn't, however go yet another week especially with the uber muff that is our babe of the week, Keeley Hazell. I have a feeling she may show up on TDP again and again and again and again and again and...
Have a nice day!

~McTickle

Snappy Monday

2008-01-07T18:06:00.000-05:00

Who is this Holly Weber chick that Ken of Snakes insisted I make Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Week?

She's hot, so that's all that counts.

We have a new thing here. We're going to have you all vote on your favorite uber babe each month. The winner will be Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Month. Clever, eh? Then, since there are 12 months in a year we will have you vote on your favorites for the year and we will count them down again in December like we did in 2007. Neat, eh? The difference is this time you, our reader will have a voice in it. I think it's genius. I love that I thought of this. All my idea. Me. I rule! But since we will start counting down at the end of November we'll have to include the uber babes from last December in the running. It's only fair.

Please submit your vote for either:
Isla Fischer
Eva Green

Ok, I can't remember the others. It's between these two...

~McTickle

...by the way

2008-01-04T16:16:00.000-05:00

November's DUDE WE LOVE TO HATE, Hillary Clinton got his ass kicked in yesterday's Iowa Caucuses by the man in black, Barack Obama!

Sweet!

~McTickle

No Country For Old Men

2008-01-04T15:59:00.000-05:00

No, I haven't seen it. But I saw an old man on the subway this morning who looked lost and kind of cold. I wanted to ask him if he needed help, but then I noticed he was with someone and that made me feel better.
Speaking of feeling better, there's nothing quite like taking a week and change off of work, spending 4 days in Pittsburgh with the girlfriend's family, only to spend an entire day driving home and the rest of the vacation with the flu. I'm just now starting to feel better. I still haven't been sleeping well though, and have been too exhausted to get my ass to the gym in the morning.
So much for starting 2008 with a bang. And I refuse to go after work with all the resolutionaries. That's what I call them. Resolutionaries are people who make a New Years Resolution to hit the gym and lose the weight. You see them at prime hours throughout January. As January fades to February and February to March you see them less and less until only a small percentage of the horde of January resolutionaries remains. They become regulars and you watch and admire their progress.
I'm not one to talk though. My gym attendance has been less than stellar. But I didn't make a list of resolutions this year. I refuse. You always break resolutions. The only two I ever kept were to 1) In 2003 I stated I would hook up with a fair amount of women. I did. It was a good year. 2) In 2006 I stated I would quit smoking. I did. I miss it.
This year I wrote myself a list on how I could improve. But none are resolutions I have to stick to. Some things included exercising more (yet to start), drinking less (not a sip since NYE), taking a writing course (it starts January 14th), and being a more positive person (fuck that).
Be prepared for a more literary McTickle in 2008. We here at The Daily Pube also promise plenty more uber babe action.
Like our Celebrity Uber Babe of the Week, Olivia Wilde. Enjoy!
~McTickle

In With The New

2008-01-01T18:15:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!

I don't know about you, but when I think of all the good stuff we'll get to cover in 2008 my toe nails curl and my pubes stand on end and...whatever.

We ended 2007 on a sadder note with a classic uber babe, but we start 2008 with the future of the tabloids, the young, beautiful cheerleader star of Heroes, Hayden Panettiere.

After this we will return to our usual format of bullshit, crab cakes, Swayze, and smack talk. not too Chevy, eh?

~McTickle

dude we love to hate, dead or alive?

2007-12-31T16:22:00.000-05:00

Out With The Old...

2007-12-31T12:28:00.000-05:00

It's New Years Eve. The Daily Pube will resume its regular bull on Wednesday when we return from our long (and boring for some because on the day we returned from Pittsburgh we caught a nasty cold that has kept us indoors ever since) vacation.

I wanted to end 2007 with an Uber Babe from 1967. I was watching my favorite movie The Graduate last night. Anne Bancroft (who sadly passed on last year) was the MILF you wish had been your friend's mom when you were 20. By posting her as our Out With The Old uber babe for 2007 I certainly mean no disrespect to Mel Brooks. In fact, this is almost a token of our appreciation to everything they have both provided us over the years. Especially History of the World: Part I..."it's good to be the king!"

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #1

2007-12-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

For our #1 Christmas Babe I wanted to do something special. A look back, if you will on all the appearances she's made on The Daily Pube in 2007.

We chose this very special girl for a number of reasons:

1) She's smokin!

2) She seems like she'd be awesome to hang out with.

3) Woody Allen is a fan. And if Woody likes her, so do we!

4) She recorded an album that is all Tom Waits cover songs. How cool is that?

5) We can all agree on this one.

Guessed yet?

If you said Scarlett Johansson you'd be correct!!!

We interviewed* the buxom beauty about her feelings on being The Daily Pube's #1 Christmas Babe of 2007. Here are some exerpts:

TDP: Hi Scarlett, thanks for sitting down with us. It's a real pleasure!

SJ: It's my pleasure. I love taking time out of my busy schedule to meet with fans who like to beat off while gazing adoringly at my photographs.

TDP: How did you...never mind. So how does it feel to be our #1 uber babe of the year?

SJ: To tell you the truth I never heard of you guys. What is it exactly that you do?

TDP: It's a blog. The Daily Pube.

SJ: Nope, sorry.

TDP: Oh, no big deal. You're here now. How about a Fresca?

SJ: Thanks, I'm good. Look I have about 4 minutes before I have to be somewhere, so let's get on with this, ok?

TDP: Of course, of course. You're a busy girl. God, you're beautiful!

SJ: Thanks. Slightly creepy.

Awkward silence

SJ: Did you have any other questions for me?

TDP: I think we did. Um, I can't seem to find my notes. Hang on a sec. (looks through pad) yeah, I seem to have lost them. You are so sexy! Can I buy you dinner sometime?

SJ: yeah, I don't think so. I have to go now. It's been real weird chatting with you though. Bye!

And that was it. Just like that, she was gone.

Here are some highlights of Miss Johansson's exposure on The Daily Pube this year...

Getting intimate with Ken of Snakes

Hanging out at our 10,000 Hits party

Looking absolutely HOT

We here at THE DAILY PUBE want to wish all of our readers and their families a MERRY CHRISTMAS, HAPPY CHANUKAH, HAPPY KWANZAA, & HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I hope you enjoyed our Celebrity Uber Babe countdown. When we return in 2008 we'll have all new Celebrity Uber Babe Obsessions of the Week as well as our New Years Resolutions, Oscar Predictions, NFL Playoff Preview, and the 1 Year Anniversary of The Daily Pube.

~McTickle

*This interview with Scarlett Johansson was completely fabricated out of this air also known as the mind of McTickle. In no way did we or will we ever get this close to her. Should that change we will do a real interview and die happy men. Thank you.

The 12 Babes of Christmas - Countdown

2007-12-21T11:37:00.000-05:00

It would be too easy and too obvious for me to give you #1 so early in the day. I prefer to make my minions wait and wonder. But since I'm a helluva guy I thought it might be nice to recap who we have so far.

Starting the list at #12 even though Big Dan thinks we're crazy we have Angelina Jolie

Next at 11 is Claudia Schiffer

#10 is my favorite girl next door Elisha Cuthbert

Coming in at #9 is OC hottie Rachel Bilson

#8 is Esquire Magazine's Sexiest Woman Alive for 2007 Charlize Theron
Lucky #7 is the lanky, but luscious Jessica Biel

Sexy at #6, Ken of Snakes' wet dream girl Megan Fox

Starting out the top 5 is Jessica Alba

J-Mart Escobar leaves his wife for #4 Marissa Miller

Scotty Doesn't Know, but #3 is Sienna Miller

& #2, not to be confused with poo is the ever so gorgeous even in that silly movie Serendipity Kate Beckinsale
...what? Who says I can't post a photoshop on this? I'm editor in chief of The Daily Pube. I do what I want!

Keep checking back TODAY for the big reveal, our #1 Christmas Babe

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #2

2007-12-20T13:09:00.000-05:00

It's not easy being Number 2. You're not quite Number 1, people associate you with pooping, you're like the often left behind middle child who may have red hair, and is probably adopted from some weird farm family in the Appalachian mountains brought down to Alabama only to find out you have a long lost sister named Flu who may or may not be linked to the 9/11 World Trade Center bombing.

But on The Daily Pube this in no way makes you any less awesome if you are on the 12 Babes of Christmas list.

And awesome #2 is KATE BECKINSALE!

I know I said a couple weeks ago that Christmas Babe #3 Sienna Miller could possibly rival Kate Beckinsale as my new favorite Uber Babe, but after watching Underworld again I remembered why it is that I love Kate so much...her amazing ass!

Don't forget to check back tomorrow for our #1 Christmas Babe of 2007. Who will it be? Submit your guesses (as comments). Whoever guesses correctly will receive recognition in the first post of 2008. I know, awesome right?

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #3

2007-12-19T13:40:00.000-05:00

I can't believe we're down to the final three. Can you?

This particular Christmas Babe holds a special place in my heart and in my loins. I have photoshopped myself with her twice. I have nailed her never...but since her beau cheated on her with the nanny, then why shouldn't she come over to my place for a revenge romp. Kristina wouldn't mind. Kristina is so awesome she may even participate. Best to keep my reality separate from my fantasy though.

I like to think of The Daily Pube as sort of a fantasy world for me. It's a get away from the minutia of my real life. I don't even use my real name. What? You thought McTickle was the name my mom & dad gave to me? Please, I'm Jewish!

So, has anybody seen the movie Alpha Dog? I watched it the other night. I didn't want to like it, but I did. Former Dude We Love to Hate Justin Timberlake actually played one of the better characters. But the best part is that I discovered three more uber babes for 2008. They will be part of our series on up & cummers! HAHAHA!

Down to business. Christmas Babe #3 is none other than Sienna Miller. I just realized something - that's two Millers in a row. How cool is that? I'm gonna go have a beer. Maybe a Miller! Nah, I'll make it a Michelob.

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #4

2007-12-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

We're almost there, boys & girls. I almost don't want it to end, right? You're probably wondering right now who these last four may be. Well, I'm not gonna tell you. Not even a hint.

Except, of course for Christmas Babe #4, J-Mart Escobar's favorite all-time would dump his wife if that's what she wanted, MARISSA MILLER.

J-Mart said he would write something about her, but I know I've been eager to post #4, so I'll add it later.

For now...

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #5

2007-12-17T10:13:00.000-05:00

The countdown to Christmas is here with only about a week left to shop and prepare your home, and to find the biggest goose in all of London. But we here at The Daily Pube only really care about presents (see our gift guide below) and The 12 Babes of Christmas.

With only five more to go, and the fact that I leave for vacation this coming Saturday you will get a new babe every day this week until we hit #1 on Friday! If that doesn't excite you, you're probably one of our 15 female readers...or a eunuch.

Not one for wasting time on a Monday morning, I hereby give you Christmas Babe #5, JESSICA ALBA!

From the moment she first appeared in Dark Angel to her blonde hair in Sin City I have been infatuated. Ken of Snakes went so far as to take a boat trip with her to the Cayman Islands last spring. Ken of Snakes would eat mustard if that's what she wanted.

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #6

2007-12-14T14:33:00.000-05:00

I try to be clever with each entry for The 12 babes of Christmas. Today, however I'm just not feeling it. Maybe it's because I was out until 1:30 AM on a school night with Ken of Snakes, Scotty Doesn't Know, and some other peeps drinking beers, and I got in about 5 hours of sleep, and woke up still feeling drunk and the fact that I've been running to the mens room all day doesn't help much either because now my ass is itchy and I said that all out loud in one breath of air.

But even on a day like today the air is crisp, the sun is shining, and Megan Fox is Christmas Babe #6. Megan is a Ken of Snakes favorite. I believe he noted his willingness to tattoo the words Love is Lumpy Gravy on his back if that's what she wanted. I haven't seen Transformers yet, but I hear she was the best part of a mediocre movie that was so hyped it made me want to play with my old Thundercats action figures.

Right about now you're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about and you just want me to show the damn picture already. And now that I think about it most of The Daily Pube's readers probably skip all the banter and slide right to the photo anyway, so who cares?

I couldn't decide which photo was better so you get both. Have a festering weekend!

~McTickle

The Daily Pube Last Minute Gift Guide 2007

2007-12-14T10:22:00.000-05:00

'Tis the season to be hung over from drinking too much at your company holiday party. But everybody loved the champagne punch I made, so it was all worth it right? Well, not so much. My ass is angry this morning.

Anyway, we promised a last minute gift guide. So here it is. Each of us picked something we would like, something for the lady in our lives, and something for our sweet little grandmothers (except J-Mart who thinks grandmother means toddler daughter - silly Dane!) The only Pube who didn't submit a gift guide was Scotty Doesn't Know. And trust me, he knew. But what he doesn't know is in 2008 he's being replaced by a woman writer. Aw shit!

~McTickle

The Daily Pube Last Minute Gift Guide 2007

Ken of Snakes
For me:
My sister’s father-in-law just bought one of these and I hope to be able to drive it on Christmas Eve when I see him. This might be one of the most refined cars on the road today. I say refined not in the way that it has been tested over the years to become refined...I say refined in the way that they put so much time in the initial phases of production of this car that it is perfect off the line. I have sat in one at a car show and everything is exactly where it should be. The seats hug you like your grandma on your 5th birthday. The sound system can blow the doors off while the 500hp V10 can get you from point A to point Z faster than you can say, “Go Speed Racer, GO!!” This car oozes sex appeal. I would drive a pink Kia Sephia for a year if it meant I could own the M6. All you Staten Island Guidos in your white 330i’s can kiss my M6 ass. I’ll race you to Anthony’s house!

For my future lady:
If I found a girl and she was wearing these, I would wife her immediately! I hate guidos and I love thongs so this is the perfect combination to make my holidays a little cozier. If a girl can share my hatred of guidos as much as I do, then I would stuff her stocking with lots of goodies...like a real man would. GO IRISH!

For Grandmas:
My grandmothers are saints and deserve only the best. Now, some of you might think that these shirts apply to me...GROSS and WRONG. But if my grannies were wearing these shirts, you would take a look at them and consider it. They are beautiful mature ladies. Some dudes are into that. I repeat though....NOT ME.

Happy Holidays and may the Snakes be with you.
-K.of S.

Big Dan

Me - Because, just because... Is there anything prettier than 100% All-American, Detroit-built muscle? No, I didn't think so.

Wife - Because, honestly, what's better than a gift for her that's also a gift for you!

Grandma - Because really, what's better than some homemade goodies from your grandmother? And, frankly, my Nana's pizzele's are the shit and she'll kick your granny's ass any day in the kitchen!

~Big Dan in the Can With a Frying Pan

McTickle

Me – Socks. And lots of them. See, I have nice feet tops. At least I like to think so. They’re not too hairy, my second toe doesn’t jut out past the big toe, and I don’t have any weird scars. The bottoms of my feet, however are a different story. Maybe this comes from wearing flip flops all summer long, but I seem to have constant dry and cracked skin on the bottoms of my feet. I think moisture is to blame. Therefore, if I change my socks two or three times a day I should at least somewhat solve this problem, right? I’m writing this with a hangover, so bare with me. I like these from Polo.

For Kristina – Brad Pitt. Kristina and I (and my whole company) are taking a trip to New Orleans in January for some R&R, and also to build a house for Habitats for Humanity.
As it turns out, we will NOT be working on Brad Pitt’s project, however if I can sneak her off and hunt him down and introduce them, and maybe have a coffee then maybe, just maybe she will stop calling me Brad during our most intimate moments.

For Grandma – My grandmother is the sweetest lady. And she’s getting older. And as she gets older she doesn’t like to drive at night. This makes things difficult because then we can’t visit for very long. And that makes me a sad panda. So Grandma gets a Solar Powered Flashlight. Will this do anything for her fear of nighttime driving? Not at all, but how funny is a solar powered flashlight?

J-Mart Escobar

For J-Mart: The Wish = One-on-One Hoops with Marissa Miller
I wish for an explanation as to how exactly god can create such creatures as Marissa Miller and not make enough of them so that every man on earth can have their own. Having said that, can you think of a good reason why every man shouldn't have one (or two if you're Mitt Romney or live in Utah) of these? Tis the season for holiday goodies, why not stay in shape with a little one-on-one "Basketball"

And if you're not comfortable with us playing Skins vs Skins....by all means...you can be Shits, I'll be Skins.

For N-Mart: No More Talk, Reference, Mention of Marissa Miller.
I wish she would die She wishes for Jmart to stop talking about how hot Marissa Miller is. Stop being such a pig OR SHEEP Jmart.

For E-mart: Boobs...Formula...Boobs...Yum.
Emart wishes for baby formula that looks like it came from a tasty pair of Marissa Miller boob.Stop covering up the boobs. STOP.

Scotty Doesn't Know

Since SDK couldn't take time out of his busy schedule to write his gift list we decided to write it for him...

For SDK - A festering case of crabs.
For the lady in SDK's life - A Real Man.
For SDK's Grandmother - A pearl necklace. What were you thinking, ya perv? This is his grandmother we're talking about. Grandmothers like pearls. Geez...

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL OF US AT THE DAILY PUBE!

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #7

2007-12-13T15:59:00.000-05:00

I know I promised you all the TDP Last Minute Gift Guide today but I've been so busy here helping to set up for our office holiday party that I just haven't had the time. I'll post it tomorrow, I promise. It's worth the wait.

You know what else was worth the wait? Finding out that former Dude We Love to Hate, ROGER CLEMENS was named in the Mitchell Report as a user of illegal performance enhancing substances. WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!

Of course, many other players were named including some Mets and Red Sox and other Stupid Gay Yankees, but I don't feel like talking about that now, and I KNOW you're all waiting to see who CHRISTMAS BABE #7 is, right? RIGHT? RIGHT???

It's Jessica Biel.

~McTickle

This is What I Do When I'm Bored at Work

2007-12-12T17:22:00.001-05:00

Think I obsess over James Bond much?

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #8

2007-12-12T12:00:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday night Big Dan & I attended the 30th Birthday party for one of our friends. The party took place at a nice Hibachi Grill in Huntington Village on Long Island. We enjoyed chicken, shrimp, steak, and sake bombs. After dinner we all went over to a local bar called Christopher's. This was also a nice place. Two cupcakes worked the bar. An old, drunk Scotsman was hitting on our wives/girlfriends. While I was taking a piss at the urinal in the small mens room that didn't have a locking door, but had a urinal and a bowl another dude came in and started putting toilet paper on the seat - preparing to take a shit. I got out of there quick, but had my friend Lunchbox walk in on him. His reaction was priceless.

Anyway, after a fun night we all had to head home. Upon exiting the bar a few of us were horsing around, and somehow I ended up getting punched in the left leg by Big Dan. We don't call him Big Dan to make him feel better about himself. This guy can pack a punch. Remember when you were a kid and you used to give your friends a dead leg, and they would do the same for you? That's what I got. I can still feel it.

To top it off we were all horsing around again in the parking lot, and sure enough Big Dan was there again to take a shot at me. This time his punch landed on my left cheekbone. Luckily this punch wasn't nearly as hard as the last one, but it still took me by surprise. Big Dan kind of laughed it off and put his arm on me, at which point I swung my right arm up at him, and got him square in the nose with an open palm. I was sober. he was not. His wife was driving him home.

The best part of the story is how he texted me afterwards feeling all bad. My face felt fine, but my leg hurt. I laughed it off. But in his drunken state he seemed to feel pretty bad. I milked it a little bit.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

~McTickle

"That's it?" you ask. Hell no! I promised Christmas Babe #8, and dag nab it I intend to deliver!!

Fellow Pubes I give you, Esquire magazine's sexiest woman 2007 Charlize Theron.

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #9

2007-12-11T12:08:00.000-05:00

Who watched The O.C.??

Yeah, neither did I.

Sucks for us!

Apparently we were missing out on Rachel Bilson, #9 on our TDP 12 Babes of Christmas list in her prime. Of course, I have no complaints about her performance in The Last Kiss in which she & fellow Jew Zach Braff got down and dirty in her dorm room. She ended up obsessing over him, and he nearly ruined his relationship with his pregnant girlfriend, but whatever! The movie rocked, and she's fookin' hot!

Now, if a babe of this caliber is only #9 I'm sure you can imagine what the other 8 are going to look like. Keep checking back for updates. And check back tomorrow for our TDP Last Minute Gift Guide. Until then...

~McTickle

Subway Strives to be a Pube

2007-12-10T11:59:00.000-05:00

You might remember over the summer, Scotty Doesn't Know wrote a column about the new sandwich from Subway called "The Feast." If you don't remember, you can re-read it here. Scotty and I enjoyed The Feast so much, that we were inspired to write hikus about it. We got a good laugh here in the office, posted the article and never really thought about it again until Consumerist.com linked to it. The Daily Pube got 10x the hits that day giving us some pretty good exposure.

Then, a couple weeks ago, I was watching television and noticed a new commercial for The Feast featuring a celebrity hero of ours, Peter Griffin. Peter loves the new Subway sandwich so much, that he is inspired to write a poem about it. SOUND FAMILIAR? If you have never seen the commercial, you can take a look below...

I ask you...does this seem like they took our idea, or is it just us? If anyone from Subway is out there reading this, I want you to know our lawyers will be contacting you shortly. We don't accept signed pictures of Jared Fogel as retribution. We do, however accept large amounts of money or free Subway sandwiches for life if you don't want bad publicity. We have a far reach and know how to use it. You don't want us to flex our Pubes do you? Gross...but we're still pretty neat.

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #10

2007-12-07T13:56:00.000-05:00

For a while there she was my number 1. When I'd go to bed on a cold, cold night I'd say out loud, "Hey Elisha! Thanks for keeping me warm." And she'd reply with, "Shut up! I'm trying to sleep, fool!" Even my fantasies are self-deprecating.

No hints today. #10 on our list of 12 Babes of Christmas is the awesomest girl next door, Elisha Cuthbert.

We first met this bodacious honey on the set of 24, drooled over her in The Girl Next Door, and watched her scream as Paris Hilton got decapitated in House of Wax. (That was my favorite part of the movie)

Coming up I'm sure she'll be in other stuff that will never compare to what she made us feel in The Girl Next Door or her small, but significantly HOT role in Love Actually. You know, that's the second time I've referenced that movie in two days. I blame Kristina.

Whatever, here she is...

Have a great weekend!

Coming next week - more 12 Babes of Christmas, The Daily Pube Gift Guide, and our very own version of A Christmas Carol featuring TDP's own Scotty Doesn't Know as Ebenezer Doesn't Know.

~McTickle

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #11

2007-12-06T11:34:00.000-05:00

The countdown continues. Hopefully Big Dan will like this one. I know J-Mart Escobar will.

Who it she?

Don't scroll down yet. And if you can already see her in your browser, then fine. No mystery. Good for you, ya douche!

Hint #1 - Wayne & Garth said shwing!

Hint #2 - she appears in the movie, Love Actually

Hint #3 - she's tall

Hint #4 - she's older

Hint #5 - can you GUESS?

It's CLAUDIA SCHIFFER!!

Part of our cougar series, but pictured here in her glory days as a Guess Jeans model. I mean no disrespect, nor do I think she's not a babe still to this day, I just love this photo. She was so...innocent? Untainted by the magic penis of David Copperfield? Who knows? Who cares? She's awesome. We love her. You love her. J-Mart loves her long time... :)

~McTickle

A Damn Duritz

2007-12-05T10:16:00.000-05:00

Sometimes at The Daily Pube, we have disagreements on Celebrity Uber Babes, choices in music, movies, SPORTS TEAMS, and Dudes we love to hate. But for the first time in a long time, I am in total agreement with the choice of hating Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows. How can this Side-Show-Bob look-a-like score Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston? I won tickets for a Counting Crows concert a couple years ago at Hammerstein Ballroom. I went with a friend and we left after only 5 or 6 painful songs. They had NO energy, Duritz forgot half the lyrics and he even said, and I quote, "What the hell am I doing here? Let's hurry up and play these songs so I can go home." I forgot to mention this was a charity concert that AOL was putting on to raise money for NYC Schools. Is this creep so self consumed that he can't sing a couple poptart songs to help some inner city kids out?

Anyway, here's a little something to bring a visual to my analogy.

-KofS

The 12 Babes of Christmas - #12

2007-12-04T15:42:00.000-05:00

We promised, and now we deliver. The Daily Pube presents the 12 Babes of Christmas.

Since we started The Daily Pube earlier this year we've given you something nearly every week that makes us, and hopefully you, our readers (all 9 of you) very happy. This something, of course is our Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Week. It may surprise some of you that the uberlicious queen of DSL's, perfect hooters, and video game kid's fantasy goodness, Angelina Jolie has yet to be our Uber Babe of the Week. WTF, you ask? I know. I guess our thought process behind this is why state the obvious? But after careful consideration we decided that Miss Jolie should kick off the countdown at #12* in our 12 Babes of Christmas spectacular.

Feast your eyes - take two of these and call me in the morning - don't get your computer monitor sticky---enjoy!

~McTickle

*In no way do we think of Angelina Jolie as anything less than perfect, but since she has never actually been Celebrity Uber Babe of the Week, and because she annoys us with all the kids she adopts, and because Brad Pitt is nailing her and not any of us she is #12.

Passing of a Legend

2007-11-30T16:38:00.000-05:00

Legendary Daredevil made of 100% badass Evel Knievel has passed away at 69. 69. How awesome is that? What would have been even more awesome would have been if he'd gone out 69ing on his motorcycle with Lita Ford circa 1976. I just saw a photo of her the other day. How hot? I mean at almost 50 she's still hot now, and when she did Kiss Me Deadly in 1987 she was hot, but holy crap!! (For those interested it's in some magazine called Movies Rock...or something like that. It came with my last GQ.)

Anyway, so long Evel. Rest in Hellatious Awesomeness!

~McTickle

Best of 07' (Continued)

2007-11-30T15:23:00.000-05:00

Check out:
Your Arms Around Me
Shirin
Postcard to Nina

Love
J-Mart

I have no problem (really i don't) with McTickles' selections....but there is no way in hell you can leave out Jens Lekman's "Night Falls Over Kortedala"....for best album of the year. That is unless you're insane...which is possible!

Best of 2007 - Part I

2007-11-30T11:02:00.000-05:00

This next month at The Daily Pube, along with counting down our 12 Babes of Christmas, The Daily Pube Digs, The Daily Pube Gift Guide, Eight Crazy Jews (it’s an Adam Sandler reference pertaining to Chanukah, and I’m Jewish so I can say shit like that), and all our usual TDP garbage we’ve decided to get a head start on the awards shows that you’ll be subjected to early next year and start now with our favorites of 2007. (I said that all in one breath.)

I’m going to start with my Top Five Favorite Records of the Year (aka CD’s, aka iTunes downloads)

#5 – Black Snake Moan – Soundtrack
It’s not so much the soundtrack itself, but more of what it introduced me to. First of all, Samuel L. Jackson can wail! He plays guitar and sings on four tracks including the title track. He’s awesome! Plus, my biggest discovery from this album was The Black Keys. Like The White Stripes, they are a two piece but without the fame and movie careers. If you like what the White Stripes were before White Blood Cells, then you will love The Black Keys. That’s not to say the rest of the soundtrack is not fantastic – it is.

#4 – The Shins – Wincing the Night Away
These guys are one of my favorite bands out there right now. I first discovered them on the Garden State soundtrack. I’m not sure how to describe their sound. It’s not emo, it’s not really rock. Maybe folk? My dad said they reminded him of Simon & Garfunkel. I don’t really see that. Anyway, this was one of the few albums this year that I was really waiting for. I was not disappointed. The best tracks are “Australia” and “Phantom Limb.” I first heard the latter while sitting in one of my favorite Brooklyn restaurants, waiting for a table and having a drink. Very pleasant memories, indeed.

#3 – Ryan Adams – Easy Tiger
Ryan is another of my favorite musical artists. My first impressions of this record were that it was too slow. Something felt missing. Then I saw him play it live on Halloween, and everything changed. Now, from start to finish it is one of the best of his catalog next to Gold and Cold Roses. My favorite tracks are “Everybody Knows”, “Halloween Head”, and “Tears of Gold” which sounds like it could have been made in the 19th century on a farm in Kentucky. Brilliant!

#2 – Eddie Vedder – Soundtrack to Into the Wild
This is my unexpected favorite album of the year. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t stand Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam. They just seemed to be everywhere and oh so full of themselves. Then I took a step back and got over MYSELF and realized that what he and they put together are fantastically melodic rock songs. Eddie picks up an acoustic guitar for most of this one and creates a feel for from what I understand is a movie featuring Emile Hircsh’s performance of his career. Of course he has a long way to go being only 22. I have not seen the movie, but from what I have read about it I imagine that the soundtrack was no less than perfect to set the mood. I listen to it often lately on the subway and will find myself forgetting where I am. I like when an album does that to me.

#1 – Spoon – Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
Silly title. Awesome record by an awesome pop-rock-awesome band! These guys have been making records for just over 10 years now, and they just keep getting better. This was one of the other highly anticipated albums for me, and they did not let me down. It’s the perfect listen for the subway, at work, or drinking a scotch & soda while hanging out with friends at a cool, but not too trendy bar in downtown Manhattan. Hmm, I could use one of those right now.

Honorable Mentions

Foo Fighters – Echoes, Patience, Silence, & Grace
I haven’t really listened to this one enough yet to really give it a review, but if your name is Dave Grohl or Nate Mendel or Taylor Hawkins or the other Foo, how can you go wrong?

Rilo Kiley – Under The Black Light
Kristina bought this one and listens to it around the house.
I dig it.

Rooney – Calling the World
I feel like I’m too old to listen to these guys, but there’s something about there overly commercialized sound that just keeps me coming back for more. Perhaps it has something to do with TDP Celebrity Uber Babe Rachel Bilson. They did perform on the OC once. But I never watched that show. Who knows? Who cares?

The White Stripes – Icky Thump
I love Jack & Meg! I’ve seen them in concert four times. They’re sick live. De Stijl and White Blood Cells are two of my favorite albums. Some of their songs make me think of strippers. They hit the nail on the head with about half the tracks on this one. The other half are ok. One song, “Conquest” just sucks! Do I like this record? Yeah, but it’s not in my top five.

Arctic Monkeys – Favourite Worst Nightmare
Their first album was off the charts. This highly anticipated follow-up was…ok. I enjoy some of it. They could have done much better though.

Biggest Disappointment of the Year

Wilco – Sky Blue Sky
After Yankee Hotel Foxtrot these guys have gone way down hill. Jeff Tweedy is cool because he played a non-speaking roll in my favorite ever HBO mini-series Band of Brothers. I dig everything they recorded before A Ghost is Born (and even some of that album). This piece of turd put me to sleep which was not a good thing considering I was driving home from Target when I first listened to it. I understand Jeff’s former bandmate Jay Farrar put out a new record this year with his band Son Volt. I have yet to listen to this, but would like to. It will probably be far superior to Sky Blue Balls.

Next I will review my favorite movies…so far. ‘Tis now the season for the Oscar rush. Tonight Kristina and I are going to see Fred Claus. Yeah, I know it sounds silly but it does start Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti. Who’s cooler than him? Other movies on my radar are American Gangster, I’m Not There, No Country for Old Men, Rendition, Into The Wild, Beowulf, The Golden Compass (starring James Bond), Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, and Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I have a lot of movie watching to do over the next few weeks…

~McTickle

The Daily Pube Digs...

2007-11-27T12:15:00.000-05:00

This is a new segment here at The Daily Pube. I'm flat out stealing the idea from GQ Magazine. Sometimes they have really good idea. Sometimes they really suck. I'm using this space to steal one of their good ideas because I think it was their best ever. They call it GQ Endorses. We call it The Daily Pube Digs.

Today The Daily Pube Digs: HOT WOMEN IN BLACK LEGGINGS

If you're a chick, and at least a 6 on a scale of 1-10, but have a nice looking lower half you can easily make yourself appear to be an 8 or a 9 with the right pair of black wool leggings, high boots, and a shirt that just barely covers your ass revealing the slightest hint of undercarriage.

Take last week's Celebrity Uber Babe Sienna Miller.
Already a 9.5 and easily propelled to 11 with the addition of black leggings. You can almost imagine what she must look like without any pants on (scroll down for that image).

Over the next few weeks The Daily Pube will be counting down the Twelve Babes of Christmas (our favorite celebrity uber babes of the year), presenting the TDP Gift Guide, and digging plenty more.

~McTickle

Le Mullet Lives

2007-11-26T14:36:00.000-05:00

Greetings Pubes-
Fresh off of eatin' lots n lots of turkey, I thought I'd share a picture of a 2-foot mullet i spoted on Wednesday night while putting back a few pre-holiday drinks.

Here's Mr. and Mrs. Escobar near the infamous 2 foot mullet. At least Mr. Mullet is drinking Heneiken...which answers the age old question...does good fashion taste = good beer taste? Negative Ghostrider!

Yours Truly-

~Jmart

HAPPY THANKSGIVING...again

2007-11-22T09:12:00.000-05:00

I know I said The Daily Pube would be on vacation today, but I was just on Facebook and I found a group called I Heart Ellen Feiss. Does anyone else remember who she is? She was that stoned looking chick from the Apple Switch commercials a few years back. So I joined the group. Now my life is complete.

Anyway, enjoy your turkey and stuffing and gravy...oh, and enjoy a little beep-beep-beep-beep.

~McTickle

Happy Thanksgiving!

2007-11-21T11:17:00.000-05:00

The Daily Pube will be on vacation until Monday. On behalf of the rest of the TDP writers, Ken of Snakes, J-Mart Escobar, Big Dan, & that other guy who never writes anything anymore Scotty Doesn't Know I'd like to wish all of our readers, friends, celebrity uber babes, Patrick Swayze, Robert Loggia, douchebags, and fellow bloggers a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving!

I leave you with a super hot photo of Sienna Miller.

~McTickle

It Was Only a Matter of Time

2007-11-20T16:14:00.000-05:00

...that photos would surface of your friend McTickle and celebrity uber babe of the week Sienna Miller.

...Unmistakably McTickle

...Jude Law? or McTickle strung out on drugs and sporting Jude Law's hair and chiseled chin?

You decide!

~McTickle

Sienna Miller Could Replace Kate Beckinsale as My # 1 Uber Babe

2007-11-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

It's true. How could you not love this girl?

~McTickle

PC At Its Stupidest...

2007-11-19T09:50:00.000-05:00

We have officially gone too far. This is ridiculous. Sesame Street, yes, that Sesame Street has put its own version of a Parental Advisory on the Volume 1 & 2 releases of the ever-present children's show.

The label reads:

Sesame Street' episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today's preschool child.

Why, you ask, would these seemingly benign shows be unsuitable for today's preschool children?

Consumerist.com points out that "Cookie Monster carries a pipe in one recurring parody—and then eats it. Oscar the Grouch is too grouchy and mean. And in the first episode, a grown man—Gordon—asks a little girl to come home with him for milk and cookies... and she does!"

Absolutely insane...next thing you know, they'll be telling us that Mr. Rogers was a dirty old man who liked to diddle young kids...

You can read about the whole thing here: Consumerist.com - Early Sesame Street DVDs Have "Adults Only" Warnings

Slow Week at the Pube

2007-11-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

Yeah, we've all been busy with the pre-Thanksgiving crunch.

In the news the Mets signed another Latino player, and the Stupid Gay Yankees may have doomed themselves to another 10 years without a championship. (see Gay-Rod)

At least it's Friday.

From what I hear Patrick Swayze was spotted last week trying to steal a loaf of bread from a local supermarket. No photos, just a rumor. If we can confirm, we'll surely post the photo(shop).

Yeah, I got nothing else.

Have a weekend.

~McTickle

I'm sick...

2007-11-12T14:22:00.000-05:00

Since Halloween I have had a mini pumpkin (not punkin) on my desk. I drew a face on it to make it scary, but then realized it was just like any old office desk decoration. So I decided to put my own Halloween spice to it. I hope you like it...

Ken of Snakes

When Jack & Coke Gets Old...

2007-11-12T12:58:00.000-05:00

...mix it up! Add ginger ale or cream soda instead.

This past Saturday I did something I haven't done in a while, and that is eat delicious, yet highly caloric fried chicken with mac & cheese, drink lots of beer, a couple Jack & Ginger, and see an ass kicking rock show. More on that later...

Friday night I went to a Manhattan bar called The Blind Pig. Their shtick is/was to be kind of like an old speakeasy (aka blind pig) of the Prohibition Era. (more on my growing obsession with Prohibition at another time). On their website they list drinks they specialize in, including one of my favorites the Old Fashioned. In its simplest form it's bourbon or rye, sugar, bitters, club soda, and a lemon. I was excited to hit this bar to have a real drink, and hang out in a Prohibition Era style place. Upon arrival I discovered it's basically just any other typical sports bar with some Prohibition Era photograph wall paper. I asked the lovely blonde cupcake tending bar for an Old Fashioned. She asked me how to make it. When I gave her a confused look she said, "well people like it made differently all the time."

NO THEY DON'T!!!!!

Either you know how to make a drink, or you don't, and if your establishment boasts real cocktails as a specialty then you'd better fucking know how to make it! I'm sick of so-called bar tenders who don't know how to make real drinks. I'm not impressed by a cupcake with huge boobs (aside from those particular qualities, of course) who can do nothing more than sling beers, and make a vodka with Red Bull.

To accompany my newly found obsession with Prohibition watering holes and cocktails I plan to seek out establishments in NYC that employ bar tenders who know how to mix a real drink, and to bash those on The Daily Pube who don't. Will I close any of these places? Highly unlikely, but I'll feel better.

If anyone can tell me where to get a good Old Fashioned, please let me know. I'll try it. I'll let you know what I think. Then I'll tickle your girlfriend's undercarriage.

~McTickle

Rico Suave

2007-11-08T14:19:00.000-05:00

You think that's good, J-Mart? Nothing beats an English-Spanish combo song like this one from my main man Gerardo. Eat it an puke!

Seguro que han oído que yo soy educado
Soy un caballerito un chico bien portado
Un joven responsible y siempre bien vestido
Yo no se quien ha mentido

I don't drink or smoke ain't into dope
Won't try no coke, ask me how I do it, I cope
My only addiction has to do with the female species
I eat 'em raw like sushi

No me gustan ternos, mi estilo es moderno
Si me enterno, you me enfermo
Mi apariencia es dura, vivo en la locura
No me vengan con ternuras

So please don't judge a book by its cover
There's more to being a latin lover
You got to know how to deal with a woman
That won't let go
The price you pay for being a gigolo

There's not a woman that can handle
A man like me
That's why I juggle two or three
I ain't one to commit, you can omit that bit
You pop the question that's it
Haber uno, dos, tres, cuatro mujeres
Y la situaci?all?no muere
No es un delito calmo mi apetito
Con un llanto o un grito

So again don't let my lyrics mislead you
I don't love you but I need you
Would you rather have me lie
Take a piece of your pie and say bye
Or be honest and rub your thighs

Well, it's ten o'clock and I'm two hours late
I never said I was a prompt date
But you kept persisting that I meet your parents
Huh, they're going to love my appearance

Ding dong el timbre suena
Tu madre abre, que vieja mas buena
Le digo ¡Hola! Pero no para bola
Que se ha creido vieja chola

Go and serve the food mom
Que tengo ambre
If you don't hurry, me va a dar un calambre
Y usted señor? Why's your chin on the floor?
Sierra la boca por favor

What's this amor, these little huevos?
Esto s?que yo no pruebo

I'm used to good ol' fashioned
Homestyle Spanish cooking
If i try that I'll be puking
Well it's been a pleasure but we got to go
Regresaremos temprano
Cinco, seis, o siete de la mañana
Su hija esta en buenas manos

~McTickle

Those were the good days

2007-11-08T13:56:00.000-05:00

Remember the good ol' days when music made you want to shake your ass? Those were the good days indeed. But did you ever stop to think of the amazing writing that went into the early 90's dance/techno music movement? I bet you didn't, but perhaps you ought to. Take for example the deep poetry of C+C Music Factory. Borrowed, here are lyrics from the passionate and inspirational outcry "Gonna make you sweat";

"Come on and dance guys grab a girl don't wait make the twirl
It's your world and I'm just a squirrel
Trying to get a nut to move your butt to the dance floor"

Touching, indeed. In fact, moving!

Love
J-Mart

I would...unless...

2007-11-07T16:11:00.001-05:00

I have to apologize for our absence as of late. We have been very busy here at TDP coming up with new content for our readers. We have hit a milestone in 10,000 hits. I hope it’s not just McTickle, Big Dan and J-Mart clicking over and over. I’d like to think there are some loyal readers that check into The Pube for some entertainment, but The Daily Pube could just come up on some sicko searches people are Googling.

If you are a new reader, I am going to bring you something that we have never done before. If you a return visitor, I am going to play off an old favorite. A couple months back I brought you the column, “I would…if that’s what she wanted.” It was a crowd favorite and prompted many comments. I have trademarked the idea, so don’t go trying to steal it. But, in the realm of creativity, I wanted to expand on that idea and bring you a new column called, “I would…unless…” This is now a two pronged, thought provoking idea that can develop into anything and encompass an immeasurable amount of categories.

Let me get the ball rolling with a few of my own. As always, please feel free to share some of your own. ENJOY!

I would…

…pee my pants, unless I was at church.
…listen to Coldplay, unless someone else was around.
…adopt a kitten, unless I was sane.
…curse off Chuck Norris, unless he was in the room.
…date Paris Hilton, unless there were other women left on the planet.

-K of S

There's An Impostor in Our Midst

2007-11-06T15:15:00.000-05:00

There was a historic meeting today between the Pope, the Saudi King, and Patrick Swayze. The only problem was Swayze didn't even show up. He sent his stunt double who actually looks more like Aaron Eckhart. Who, by the way is playing Two-Face in the new Batman movie, The Dark Knight. Remember how I obsessed over Casino Royale? Well, until the next James Bond film is released I'll be all about Batman.

De-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-de-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne-ne BATMAN!

Ok, here's the bad photoshop of the Pope, The King, and the guy from Saudi Arabia.

~McTickle

Not Photoshopped...at least by us.

2007-11-05T15:58:00.000-05:00

OK, I have nothing against Tom Brady or the Pats. Good for them for being the best team in the NFL right now. I am jealous of Brady in all aspects of his life. I would love to be him for even a day. But I do have a problem with this photo that has recently been acquired. I promise you...this has not been photoshopped by anyone at TDP. I can't say if it has been by someone else or not. If it was...its really good and therefore I commend you. But if its not...this is just weird.

Go Niners!!

In Case You Were All Wondering

2007-11-05T13:48:00.000-05:00

...today is the 52nd anniversary of the day Dr. Emmett Brown invented time travel. He was hanging a clock in his bathroom. he slipped and hit his head on the sink and when he came to he had a vision - a vision of this.
This is the Flux Capacitor, and it's what makes time travel possible.

Remember, where we're going we don't need roads...

~McTickle

McTickle Meets a Celebrity Uber Babe

2007-11-05T10:57:00.001-05:00

...and fails to tell her about her place on The Daily Pube. Yes, it's true. Kristina and I met former Celebrity Uber Babe Obsession of the Week Nigella Lawson at a book signing yesterday in a Williams Sonoma in Manhattan. She was on TDP a few weeks ago during our cougar series. She was licking an ice cream cone. Anyway, We waited in line an hour and a half to get her to autograph her new cook book. When we go to the front, I snapped a shot of her (using the camera on my phone because I forgot my digital camera - I truly am the worst journalist) signing the book, and then her PR girl took another one of the three of us. I said thank you, but completely neglected to mention her spot in the shrine of The Daily Pube. Would she have been flattered? Creeped out? Randy? Who knows? We may never know now. Bottom line, I suck!

On a lighter note, congratulations to the New England Patriots on a spectacular 4th quarter comeback. Yes, McTickle even watched (part of) this game.

Stay tuned for comments from Big Dan & J-Mart on how it wasn't a comeback, but destiny fulfilled.

~McTickle

It's the End of the World As We Know It...

2007-11-02T14:20:00.002-04:00

...and all I'd want is some good, ole-fashioned homemade Pumpkin Pie! ;)

Moose Testicles, Perhaps?

2007-11-02T13:12:00.000-04:00

Over the next few weeks on Heroes they're tackling the End of the World subject. Today on Yahoo.com they posted a piece done through Time Magazine about Celebrity Chef's, and what their last meals would be.

I thought about this a bit. For my last meal, would I want something I've never had, my one favorite, or maybe a smorgasbord of all my favorite foods? Well, it's my last meal, I'm about to die, what do I care if I eat myself to death? Here's a list of what I might eat:

New York Strip Steak with creamed spinach and mashed garlic potatoes
Grilled cheese with bacon & tomato
Pizza
Chicken Parmesan with spaghetti
Corned beef & pastrami on rye with mustard and a knish and matzoh ball soup
Taco Bell chili cheese burrito
McDonald's Big Mac & Fries
Real southern fried chicken, biscuits & gravy, collard greens, black eyed peas, and sweet tea
Chicken pot pie
Shepherds pie
Cuban Picadillo
Cuban sandwich
Vietnamese sandwich
Vietnamese spring rolls
Drunken Noodles with shrimp from Joya
Pulled pork sandwich
Pork ribs (Don't tell my rabbi about all the pork, ok?)
Venison steak
Moose chili
Black bear
Moose testicles

I'm gonna stop there. For now. I could probably go on and on.

What would your last meal(s) be?

~McTickle

The Escobars say Happy Friday and Go Patriots!

2007-11-02T10:24:00.000-04:00

That's right all you slap happy silly ho's...J-mart and E-mart are ready for the Colts ' ass-kicking this Sunday.

Have a good weekend all you pee coffee smellers.

Love
Jmart & Emart

The Daily Bean

2007-11-01T11:34:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that the first time you pee after your morning coffee that your pee kind of smells like coffee? Ever notice that? No? Am I the only one? Really? Oh, that's weird. Screw you all, I love my coffee and my pee that smells like coffee!

~McTickle

Will Scotty Ever Know?

2007-10-30T18:11:00.000-04:00

Remember Scotty Doesn't Know? Yeah, he used to have a mailbag. He sucks because he never writes anymore. Not that he was all that good anyway... But I have a good story about him.

Years ago Scotty Doesn't Know started a roast beef restaurant called SCOTTY'S. On his first day of business a local food critic came by to check it out. Scotty greeted him at the counter. The critic politely asked, "what exactly do you serve here?" Scotty replied, "Meat, Mother Fucker!" and punched him in the throat. The critic, Michael Arby sued Scotty, and won his restaurant as payment. He went on to expand it into a multi-location chain.

True story.

The moral?

Don't ask Scotty Doesn't Know.

~McTickle

Hey Scotty...I'm down here

2007-10-30T16:40:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to give a shout out to #34....the coolest mofo in all of sports.

Here's a toast to the World Series!

May A-Rod soon come out of the closet.

Peace!

~Jmart

Gatsby Would Have Been Proud

2007-10-29T16:39:00.000-04:00

I went to a Halloween party for the first time in a few years. Kristina reps a company that sent their product to be distributed at this party, so we got an invite. It was at some joint in Tribeca with free Absolut 100 vodka drinks, and a 1920's theme.

It was pretty cool.

The place was packed with people including numerous cupcakes dressed as flappers.

Music was provided by Michael Arenella and his Dreamland Orchestra. They played various old time numbers including a few that I even recognized. These guys also happen to be the same band that plays at Bar Tabac in Brooklyn (on my corner) three days a week. Check them out if you are in the neighborhood. Good stuff.

Everyone including Kristina and I dressed in our 1920's best. Amazingly I had everything I needed right in my own closet.

It was a great party. On our way out we witnessed a very drunk woman being helped by her boyfriend or husband. She could barely stand, and ended up falling taking him with her. It was not a pretty site.

Don't forget to check out Michael Arenella and his Dreamland Orchestra.

~McTickle